[email protected] Us, people with BPD, other personality disorders…
Us, people with BPD, other personality disorders and us who come with unstable families where unpredictability was a the way of living, we are different. We read body language, we can notice the slightest change in behaviour. Some call this being an empath, I call it oversensitivity that comes from growing up in an unpredictable house where figuring out other’s people’s moods and possible reaction was part of survival. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a superpower. It’s a basic survival instinct. We all have it to a degree, it’s part of being human, but people with traumatic/hectic backgrounds have it really really sharpened. Problem with this is, that because of this heightened sense of perception, we’re incredibly perceptive to emotional manipulation. We rise to it involuntarily, even when we are aware of it, we still feel obliged to react to it. We try to fix things, we think everything is somehow our fault. So, how do you alter your behaviour? The best rule is – not to react. I know, it’s harder to say than do. But make a conscious decision about not reacting. You will notice it, you will get affected by it emotionally – at least initially. But still, do it anyway. Build your resilience by not rising to it. Somebody is giving you the silent treatment? Let them. Get on with your life, don’t react to it. Don’t try to fix it. Someone is trying to make you feel guilty? Don’t react to it. Communicate your needs clearly and stress your expectations in communication. Don’t react to hidden messages. Only react to messages communicated to your clearly. If you’re in doubt if someone has a problem with you or not, just assume that they don’t. If they do, they’ll come to you. If they’re trying to manipulate you and it’s not working (because you’re not rising to it) they’ll come to you as well. So it’s a win-win. Don’t rise to it. It’s not your problem.
#bpd #bpdrecovery #bpdrelationships #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #bpdproblems #bpdawareness #assertivecommunication #emotionalabuse #manipulation #mentalhealth #toxicfamily #toxicrelationships