Repost @kaymaxwell really opened up to the new doctor I just…
really opened up to the new doctor I just met about school and abuse , it was the first time I’ve really spoken about it to anyone (except a lil on here) and it brought up rage and devastatingly to the point we had to stop because I was crying so hard. I told her how angry and hurt I still am and how I don’t know what’s real and what’s a lie and what’s made up and I doubt myself.
sometimes I remember everything that’s ever happened and sometimes I can’t remember anything. sometimes I remember his voice and the smell of his breath and blood and bruises and sometimes I wonder if it even happened.
Trauma work is something I’ve been meant to do for a long time but I never could as it would fuck me up and remove me from my day to day life. Hopefully after a 2ns stint of dbt (if my work and college schedule allows) I can move on to trauma and really talking about it. I’m exhausted but it’s a step forward, I honestly expect ppl to laugh and not believe me when I tell the stories but she was in tears by the time I finished. I cry for the little girl I once was and the woman I could have been. It’s a sad day