Repost @bpd.mgt I have a difficult relationship. Most of the…

Repost @bpd.mgt

I have a difficult relationship. Most of the time I’m an ok sleeper, usually manage full 8 hours and on weekends and holidays usually more. Not so much luck when I’m triggered. When triggered I get on a cortisol (stress hormone) high which stops me getting any sleep. Usually I combat it with a strong sleeping pill (prescription not herbal). Then if I’m lucky, this stops the insomnia cycle from happening and the next night I’m back to normal. If I’m still triggered the next night, I sometimes have to medicate again. If I happen to run out of pills, then nothing helps. No mindfulness meditation, hot or cold bath, leaving the room, hot cocoa or malt drink, no lavender spray or herbal pills can get me any sleep. There’s nothing more frustrating in life than these nights. Insomnia has a devastating affect on me – I can’t perform at work, I’m moody, cry uncontrollably, it’s just awful. When I was little, I was a light sleeper, often worrying about my family members, afraid of them dying, afraid of me dying. I was an anxious sensitive kid. I was? I still am. A good night’s sleep has now become a treat, it’s better than a day in an expensive spa. It’s the best. And one day I’ll figure out how to win those battles against my anxiety high insomnia. I will win. I must. (Animal on pic is my dearest cat) #bpd #bpdproblems #bpdrecovery #bpdawareness #selfcare #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #mentalhealthawareness #personalitydisorder #borderline #bpdthings #catsofinstagram #cat #cats #selflove #sleep

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