Repost 📷 @bpd.mgt Being assertive is hard for people with BPD….
Repost 📷 @bpd.mgt
Being assertive is hard for people with BPD. During my worst years, my communication style was yo-yoing between being passive-agressive and just aggressive. Passive aggressive is when you agree then sabotage and aggressive is when you just force your way seemingly not caring about the other person’s needs. Assertiveness on the other hand is when you demonstrate healthy confidence to stand up for yourself while still respecting the rights of others. I admit I struggle with this still and I know exactly why. Being assertive means you represent what’s good for you. That’s a lovely thing to do but this also means you may have to confront with others as your best interest may not be their best interest. And confronting means they may dislike you. Or leave you. And leaving you means abandonment. I also didn’t have a good role model to learn assertive communication from – pretty much nobody could be considered as a role model for this in my close or wide family. So for years and years I just put up with stuff until I couldn’t it anymore and then we explode in anger – hello aggressive communication style, hello BPD rage! So what do we do? As I said many times, there isn’t a quick fix for BPD. It’s a mixture of long therapy, sometimes medication, specialty treatment like DBT or Schema. Whatever you can get, really. What works best for me is having a great therapist who models the sort of parental figure for me I didn’t have growing up. So funny as it sounds, I’m learning how to be a normal, healthy and functioning adult now, as an adult. And it’s working. Slowly, but it’s working. In the meantime, I write memos for myself that I look at daily to remind myself about assertive communication. My thoughts, desires and needs are as important as anybody else’s. To me, I come first. #bpd #assertive #bpdrecovery #bpdawareness #mentalhealthawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdproblems #recoveryispossible #borderline #borderlinepersonality #recoveryisworthit #communication #wednesdaywisdom #recovery #bpdsupport