Repost 📷 @_thekylejones If you want to heal the fear of…
Repost 📷 @_thekylejones
If you want to heal the fear of engulfment, put the following tips into practice:
1. Be Aware Of Your Avoidant Behaviors
• Self-awareness is the first step to behavioral change.
• Think of times in your past when you learned avoidance. Did you have a controlling parent? Did you have a dismissive parent? Did it develop after experiencing betrayal in a relationship?
• Write down your specific avoidant strategies, which can include: workaholism, shyness, alcoholism, avoiding physical closeness, flirting with others, keeping secrets, etc.
2. Identify What’s Possible and Impossible
• When you have a fear of engulfment, you feel like meeting your partner’s needs is unnecessary. To overcome this, ask your partner tonight, “How can I do a better job of meeting your needs? What are your needs?”
• Next, decide which needs are possible for you to meet and which needs are impossible.
• Then, communicate what’s possible and impossible to your partner. This will provide your partner a greater sense of security and encourage self-care in areas you’re unavailable.
3. Increase Your Self-Esteem
• A person who has the fear of engulfment is afraid of being controlled, but also afraid to communicate what makes him or her feel controlled. This is a self-esteem issue.
• When you have an increased self-esteem, you feel safe enough to tell your partner when you need space and when you need a hug.
• When you have an increased self-esteem, you feel safe enough to put your pride aside, let go of your fear of getting hurt and meet your partner’s needs.
4. Become Emotionally Available Towards Yourself
• If you’re not connected to your own emotions, then you’ll never be able to connect with the emotions of others.
• Start a meditation practice.
• Start therapy.
5. Commit To Being Loving
• Set the intention to be loving each and every day.
• Set the intention to stop being distant every day.
• Every morning close your eyes for sixty seconds and visualize yourself displaying loving behaviors and releasing avoidant behaviors.
These are my most effective tips to heal the fear of engulfment ❤️ Let me know how they work over the next couple of weeks